Aspiring Apologist

I am currently in the position of teaching 20+ men foundational bible doctrine. Most of these men come from backgrounds of serving other gods and a history of idol worship. They question the accuracy of the bible, the savior-quality of Jesus, and the existence of one true God. Their faith varies across the board; some are desperate for a savior, others are content without one, while still others believe that hope lies at the base of an idol.

I remember the first few times we met for class, I could feel their deep hopelessness, a feeling I have forgotten since I found Christ. And now that same hopelessness was staring me in the face, through the eyes of men who have known nothing else but life without a savior, a hopelessness that has never shown its face to the hollow soul it dwells in, only the façade of contentment. Contentment without its counterpart, content without Hope.

Yet I have found favor in those same eyes. It may be my skin color, or the joy I carry in their presence. They have accepted me, respect my teaching, and are interested in my love for a culture and people unlike myself. They have learned to accept the believer in Christ, but may they soon see that it is Christ in me that they have accepted, and desire His presence in their lives as well.

I am a teacher, but by the grace of God He has taught me to be an apologist as well, a defender of the faith. So many of their questions arise out of anger, resentment, or confusion. That wasn’t so the first week we met, praise God that something is stirring in their hearts! I have learned to answer in love, truth, and application and it has served me well. I have found that there is no reason to fear questioning and no reason to reply in an imposing manner. I don’t fear the reliability of my faith, and that in itself may minister to the questioner more than the answer to the initial question. God’s word is sufficient and it is truly a miracle as verses flash to mind and illustrations form even as a question is being asked.

I leave those classes feeling encouraged, discouraged, and challenged simultaneously. I sense the pain Jesus felt as people would walk with him, see his miracles, hear his teaching and yet still not believe he was the son of God. The pain of knowing that someone is so close to redemption, but not willing to receive it. I have been saturated in intercession for these men, and fighting for their salvation and for that road to be made straight and clear.
But more so, may a desire for Jesus well up in their souls. A desire that crushes the face of hopelessness and reveals the void that lay beneath. May they be willing to let Jesus fill the space that was meant for him since the day they were born.