Bury Me

When I surrendered

You took me captive

When I layed down my life

You gave me it

When I said Yes

You said Go

When I fell apart

You picked up the pieces

When I was weak

You used me

When I was strong

You humbled me

When I neglected You

You longed for Me

When I cried

You cried

When I loved

You loved greater

When I obeyed

You were proud

When I saw a sinful life

You saw potential

When i pray

You stand beside me

When i walk

You prepare my next step

When I run

You move mountains

When i fall

Your hand is outstretched

When I say I can't

You say have faith

When i am confused

You take me above

When i accepted You as Lord

You buried who i was

When I followed You as Lord

You made me all that I am

When I surrendered

You took me captive

My Little Secret

Today in prayer something was brought up that really hit home for me personally. Why do i treat my salvation, my relationship w/ Christ like a big secret?

I mean i love my God, and i love His mercy, and His grace, and His awesome plan for MY life, but its really selfish for me not to share my faith with the unsaved around me. God brought to mind my myspace. And after Ang brought up the subject, God just kinda spoke silently and said " why dont you have your intern blog on your myspace?" And my first reaction was like" heck no, i dont want all my old friends from school and home to read all my spiritual stuff."

Im surprised God didnt smite me then and there, what a stupid remark...especially to the One that says go to ALL nations and spread the good news to ALL people.

How prideful, how selfish. How many people could i have effected, how many saved, how many helped if i would of just got over my own selfhish ambition. I'll never know.

But ya know what? God is faithful, and He gave me the strength to do it anyways. Because you know what im learning.....
....Ministry is, and will be my life until the day i die!!

So i need to crucify myself with Christ, cowboy up, and get used to it!! Because the rest of my life will be focused on winning people to Gods kingdom!!

God teach me to be faithful with the small tasks you give me now, so that i may be faithful with the big ones later. All my dreams and passions are in your hands, i release all that i am to you, my strengths and weaknesses.
Refine Me, Guide Me, Use Me

The Secret's Out.....
Dont Go Witness
Witness As You Go!

Moving For The Sake Of Motion

I can see my breath tonite
Reminding me im still breathing

Its funny how you forget the small things
And emotions and words start fleeting

I am my own
What a misconception

I am nothing
Holy Spirit my only infection

I shed this skin
And clothe in His glory

Because my pages are blank
And would rather live according to His story

Understand I am just a visitor
I'm not here for long

I'll be content if I touch one life
Or only sing one song

But God wait just one more day
There's so much to be done

The battle is raging
And yet the war is already won

So give me another minute
an hour or year

Just long enough to send a prayer
to rid this world of hate and fear

Reign in me
And reign alone

So that I may reap the harvest
From the many seeds sewn

But for now you have me here
Hands tied and mouth closed

For what reason i cannot express
Only you can know

So I pray without ceasing, and with no notion
God help move for the sake of motion

$11 Tootsie Roll

Ok so im pretty much broke, i have a total of $0 for the rest of this month. And so today i was cleaning my room and opened up this container that i put all my spare change in. I was excited beucause i totally forgot about it. So i counted what i had, and it came out to $11. So i figured that could get me starbucks or a burger sometime this week so i was thrilled. So i hop in the "green machine" and go to safeway to see if they had one of those change exchange things so i could get some cash...but no.

So then i go all the way down to Trancas to check out Nob Hill because i knew that where im from, they usually have the change exchange things there. On my way i was praying forgiveness because i had totally rejected God all morning because of the things i had to get done. So im prayin that God would have his way today, and that he would humble my spirit and teach me to live a life of worship(that was my prayer objective for fasting also)

So 10 mins later, as im walking through the door at Nob Hill there is this man with a yellow and orange vest and holding a container that says "help the mentally challenged" or at least something close to that, as i walk by God spoke clear as day "give all you have." My heart sank, i kept walking and i was just like no, that was only me wanting to be generous. So im walking through the store looking for this change exchange machine and it isnt there. And the whole time God is like "give all you have."

So here i am stuck in Nob Hill, with my $11 in change and getting clear instruction from God to give all i have, and i am stuck on my own selfish ambitions. It was then i was like, ok here is God answering my prayer right in front of me and im rejecting him. So i humbled my spirit, walked out of Nob Hill and up to the man, looked him in the eye, and said "here ya go, hope this helps" gave him the change,gave him a smile, and walked away. I walked a couplle of steps and i heard him say "wait", i turn around and he hands me a tootsie roll, and says "thanks." I smiled, got into my car and drove home, with nothing but a tootsie roll.

I was questioning God on the way home why he would have me do that, i mean it wasnt for a church organization as far as i knew, it wasnt missions giving or tithe, and i dont even know how much of that money will actually go to the cause. And I just felt God say, "yes you dont know, but you DO know that I told you to give it."

Now i look back at the situation and totally Praise God, I prayed, He answered, i sacrificed, and now He stores my treasure in heaven, AND i got a tootsie roll as a bonus. lol. So God has called us to be faithful with the small before he can entrust with the big. Even if we cant see the purpose in it, God knows, and it is not our job to ask why, its our job to say "yes lord" and then do it with a servants heart.

After i got home i remembered this verse:
"If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. 6 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. 7 Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. "
James 1: 5-7 (NLT)

What i got out of it was that God will give us wisdom if we ask for it, but once he gives us wisdom, we need to USE IT, not be divided by the things of this world or we are as unsettled as the sea. Just because we dont neccesarily agree with the wisdom God gives us when we ask, doesnt mean we dont have to do it. So be obedient, and take pride in your humbleness, it is an awesome feeling!

God is so good, sorry this is so long, but when God speaks, he SPEAKS.

It is Finished

So we finished our fast tonite!! Bee-ah Bee-ah!! Yea forgive my gangsterness lol. Im just so happy we got to eat. We broke our fast with tacos, rice, soup, chips n' salsa, cookies, and my personal fav. cheese and crackers..i was craving those soo bad i felt like a pregnant woman lol But God has done so many things through this fast, by just rejecting my flesh i feel so much power over my body and like Peter said "make it my slave." And just the confidence he has given me in that he has me in his hands, guiding and going before me everyday. This was my first extended fast ever and its definitely not gonna be my last, it was such an amazing experience running of the energy and strength of God, not the nourishment of food.

"The Joy of the Lord is my strength"

Today was amazing, and so is everyday when you have awesome prayer times in the morning. I showed up for prayer around 6 this morning and didn't stop until about 9. God totally filled me with his joy. All day i was just in an awesome mood, not mourning because i can't eat, but praising God because of his faithfulness to change things in my life, and reveal His plans for me. During this time of fasting I pray that God would humble me, and help me live a lifestyle of worship, and also just to guide my every move. I pray that my heart would overflow into action and pursue His will in all I do. I'm lovin how my body is upset because the lack of food, and my spirit is thriving because God the only food it needs. God is good, all the time.

Crazy Awesome God

Man its crazy to look back at my day and just see the God centered craziness that goes on between 5:30 this morning and now. From reg. Prayer to staff prayer, life of Christ essays to drama practice, then prayer again and today we started our 3 day fast. I am so stoked to see what God is going to do in my life, and in the team's life.

God has been speaking some crazy stuff to me lately; like seek him first in all I do and all things will be added unto me. And then about how he is gonna tie up all my passions(youth,worship,missions) and just use them in a wicked awesome way. Then out of nowhere he is speaking to me about marriage and how it is so important that I understand that it is about trust, honesty, unity, and pure love. and how God is going to use my marriage for His glory. Yea I know...Pretty random, and to top it off I got asked if I wanted to work on the marriage "pass it on" with the rest of the Berean group, and God is totally speaking to me there too. So yea, I think that my wife finally started prayin for me or something because God obviously is preparing me. Who knows when or how, but either way God is doin something in that area of my life.

But I think that this also ties in with the "seek him first"thing. I know that in order for me to achieve all the great things God is preparing for me, I need to seek him first AND THEN all will be added. God doesn't call us to seek your wife and you will find her, or seek your ministry and it will happen, he calls us to SEEK HIM, duh the all knowing all powerful God, its so stupid how I as man try to help God with my life, when in fact, he's had it all planned since the beginning of time. I SURRENDER!

God is just up to some awesome crazy things right now, and that's exactly what I've been praying for, for him to make me uncomfortable and show me how to worship him in lifestyle, for him to break my heart for the lost and go when he says go, for me to push the limit in everything I do, and above all, just to fall in a deeper love with Him. I'll try to keep a day to day blog on what God is doin during our time of fasting.Sorry this is so long but when God speaks i gotta type..lol I'll keep ya posted!

Live to serve...

So this last weekend all the interns went up to Sacramento to help with the Lay Leadership Conference at Capital Christian Center. We got to serve with a bunch of Master Commissions and pretty much did everything from serving in break-out sessions to picking up trash. We also put up our Global Passion to spread the word.

Since it was a two day conference, and Angies parents live close by...they opened up their home to ALL of us interns! They blessed us soooo much, giving us a place to stay, AWESOME food to eat, and just lettin us be a part of the familiy for the weekend. Angies mom (Momma Neece) has got to be the sweetest, most hospitable woman i have ever met. She definitely made me feel loved and at home. Then theres Angie's dad (Papa Steve) awesome guy, he loves music, he loves God, so yea i pretty much love him. He's also a real easy going guy and just easy to talk to. Then theres lil Anthony(Angies lil bro). LOVE THAT KID....i miss havin my lil bros around, so he definitely was a blessing, just listening and playin wtih him was a blast..So pretty much to sum it all up, stayin at the Cox home this weekend was definitely the closest ive felt to home since i came here to Global Passion. God is gonna bless that family sooo much....

Matthew 25: 34-40 (NLT)

" Then the king will say to those on his right, come you are who blessed by my father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For i was hungry and you fed me, i was thirsty and you gave me a drink, i was a stranger and you invited me into your home, i was naked and you clothed me. I was sick and you cared for me, i was in prison and you visited me. Then these righteous ones will reply "lord when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you somehting to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and gave you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prisson and visited you?" And the King will say "I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these, my brother and sister, you are doing it to me."

I think the theme for this last weekend was servanthood, and i need to learn how to make it a lifestyle. We served at the conference and we were served by the Cox family. Jesus honors and loves when we serve, because that's what he came down to.

Content

Ok so i know God wants me use my spiritual gift of faith, minister in ways of worship and youth, and that he's called me to have a heart for missions. But where on earth does he want me to do all this stuff....you're guess is as good as mine. I really feel in my spirit that im supposed to be somewhere crazy, where i'll be pushed to my limits, and i am so excited for that. But ive been praying alot about the "where" part, and God is being pretty quiet about it. He just says to seek him first..and thats so true, but such a hard pill to swallow...especially in a " i want it now" kinda mentality. But im content, God's been showing me so many things on top of that also, he is always faithful to pick me up and just let me feel his love and comfort in knowing that he has me exactly where he wants me, and eventually he'll reveal somewhere else he wants me to go, and so on, i will always say yes when he says go.

Goodbye.....Hello

I arrived in Napa, CA on Sept. 5 2006, entering in to the FUEL intern program through Global Passion Ministries. I didn't know what to expect, all i knew was that this is where God wanted me to be, and this was the next step to what He has for me. Saying goodbye to my family was hard, but it's funny how you have a spirit of contentment because you know it's a "God thing." I met my new host home family upon arrival. They are members of Hillside Christian Center (the church Global Passion is based at) and have opened up their home to me, and for the next 11 months i will be like a seregate son to them. They live in an AWESOME house(like most houses in Napa), iv'e got my own bedroom that is perfect, all i really needed was a bed and a stereo, but the comfortable sofa and flat screen in my room was a nice addition. My bathroom is too big for a guy like me, but I can't complain about the jacuzzi bathtub either. I'm not trying to be prideful or anything, but I just think it's so cool the way God works. All this great stuff is totally different from what I'm used to back home. It just goes to show that God will take care of you wherever you are, especially when you are in the middle of doing his will.