And it all falls into place....

Ok so BIG NEWS.....yesterday i was in the office doing my Berean work when, i had that crazy gut feeling and felt that God wanted me to take a walk and pray. So i went outside and just started to talk to God, so after walking a while (into a field) God straight up spoke to me " Dont fear what i have called you to" and im like ok God, no big, i wont fear i know you'll be with me. But then God spoke again only this time.."Dont fear WHERE i've called you to" and im like GOD i dont even know where you've called me, how can i fear it!!

The first thing i thought was China, here lately ive been talking alot about China and how that could be a possibility, but God spoke to my heart again and revealed to me thats NOT where he wants me, i wanted to go to China because it was a trip that GP offered and was a possibility i could intern there next year...a semi-comfortable choice that i would be happy with. But God reminded me that i am not called to live a "comfortable" life but to put my faith in Him for the impossible.

If you've been keepin up with my blog you know ive been seeking God in where he wants me to serve next year. God doesnt usually speak to me this way but here are some things that ive come into contact with that have put a fire in my heart for the country of..............INDIA!!!

Almost one month ago after God showed me he wants me in the 10/40 window, i go 10/40 window.com and check it out. The first thing i see is a video of the church in India and how God is moving and how much faith the people have to worship in a restricted country.

Next comes the missions service in Winters,CA. We go do worship, hear an awesome message, and after go out to eat. There i meet a man from the church we were just at who asks me a few questions, then out of nowhere tells me this AWESOME experience he had on a missions trip to India for like an hour! About how God is moving in the young men and how they are starving for more training.

Then theres youth convention, and who do we come across...?? The Maddocks !! Missionaries to India! Me, Ang, and Sean got to talk to Jaylyn about there hopes and dreams for India. There passion and excitement for what God is doing and going to do kinda rubbed off on all of us as well. But still, i doubted God was speaking to me to go to India.

I guess now would be a good time to tell ya'll that discipling and equipping people is one of the things that God has strongly placed in my life. And another reason i doubted God wanted me in India was because the only missionaries and programs i knew in the country worked with Project Rescue. And since that just primarily dealt with sex trafficking i cancelled that out as Gods call on my life.........so i thought......

After talking with the Maddocks they gave me one of their prayer cards, later that night i looked at the prayer card and guess what it said...? Project Rescue, Teen Challenge, Discipleship Training and Evagelism!!!! I was pretty excited, but still doubted it was God trying to show me something.

The last little India moment was after youth convention, i went upstair to spend some time with John, so he's up there watchin tv, so i came up to find John o the couch watchin a commercial, so we chat for a lil, and when the show comes on that he was watching...it was a documentary on culture in Inda with something to do with the India Tiger population decreasing....but still a small little thing like that was still pointing to the country of India.

Finally after all those instances happened finally something kind of clicked in my mind...maybe God is showing me something. So i talked to Gina and Sarah about my whole situation(2 people that i could always pour my heart out to) and asked if this could possibly be God. They were helpful in just telling me to seek God about it through prayer and His word. So ....I did.

And that takes me back to the beginning of all this when God was speaking to me in the field during my Berean that morning. He reminded me of the diciples right after Jesus had washed their feet. Telling Him his plans and how he would leave and then return again. The disciples couldnt grasp what He was telling them, they continued to question Jesus about what he was doing. Then Jesus says soon i will stop speaking figureatively and speak plainly.....And soon the disciples finally understood what Jesus was saying...even after years of following Him they just barely understood.

Thats how i felt when God spoke to me....all this time he's been speaking to me and yet i was still crying out and questioning Him. And then finally i understood. He spoke to me plainly and placed my answer in India. What a relief to have a somewhere to work towards. Im not sure how but thats why im having faith that God's gonna take care of it. GOD IS SOOO GOOD!!!

2 Corinthians 6:4-10

4 In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamities of every kind. 5 We have been beaten, been put in prison, faced angry mobs, worked to exhaustion, endured sleepless nights, and gone without food. 6 We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love. 7 We faithfully preach the truth. God’s power is working in us. We use the weapons of righteousness in the right hand for attack and the left hand for defense. 8 We serve God whether people honor us or despise us, whether they slander us or praise us. We are honest, but they call us impostors. 9 We are ignored, even though we are well known. We live close to death, but we are still alive. We have been beaten, but we have not been killed. 10 Our hearts ache, but we always have joy. We are poor, but we give spiritual riches to others. We own nothing, and yet we have everything.

So true.....God help me live it.

This Race They Call Life....

So we kicked off the day with another 5k this morning, it was freezin and we were still a lil sore from our intense ballet training earlier this week (thanks Randa!lol) But we all were there and ready to run.

Running the 5k this time opened my eyes more to the spiritual aspect of running rather than the physical. Last time i was focused on my time and how well i could perform. This time I chose to run with a friend and practice encouragement, support, and accountability. Its funny because I think I was more encouraged by her than she was by me.We hardly even talked while we were running, but just the feeling of someone running by your side, knowing that you're running the same race, and going for the same goal makes you want to keep pushing forward all the more for that person. Being inspired and proud when they are running strong, and pushing and encouraging them when they want to slow down. Saying a word or two to lift their spirit when it gets hard, and joking around when its easy and downhill. Can you sense the message coming..?

Jesus is that person that runs by our side. He's right there to encourage us, support us, push us and keep us moving even when we are running uphill and we want to give up. He'll say the right words when we are down, and he will do everything He can to keep us moving, never stopping. Our goal this 5k was to not walk at any time during the entire race.... and me and Ang met that goal. With the support of eachother it was possible, and we pushed ourselves to the very end, and so it should be with our spiritual run with God.

God showed me today that He wants me to run the race, not walk, not trot, not jog. He want me to RUN. Even when the hills of sin come in my way, he wants me to run over them. When the mountains of circumstance are in my path, he wants me to run through them. When temptation comes my way he wants me to run from them. God wants me to keep that pace with His spirit running and conquering whatever comes my way. He is with me always, and I will never stop running because I know He won't stop either.

God i'll run with you wherever you take me, continue to condition my heart and lungs to speak your word. Stretch me in new ways to reach higher goals, and work out my spiritual muscle to bring strength and power to your people. God i'll run to win people for You. Have your way in this race they call life.

"I run the race for He who runs beside me, and for He that has already won"
-Me

All Of His Promises.......

Ever pray and pray about something, and then when God answers your prayer you freak out? Maybe im the first but I know ever since God has started to reveal His plan for me that I have been goin NUTS!!!

So earlier this year my prayer was God show me where you want me, God do what you will. And so this last week Gods been like 10/40, 10/40/ 10/40 India, China, Egypt, Indonesia, all these places where evangelism is restricted or prohibited. And my reaction has been pure joy, that is until i strayed away from His word for a couple days, got a lil' half-hearted in my prayers, and started organizing things in my own mind. THATS when i started freakin out. So I have been like why God!! Why do i feel this way, why am i stressin and flippin out over such an awesome thing.!!!???!!!

It seems obvious now, but once God started revealing His plan, I started implementing my own....yea bad idea. It seems so elementary, but why try to help God the maker and king of the universe...God help me understand you got it all under control.. I brought more trouble and concern into my answered prayer than God had ever intended. But ya know what> He loves me anyways and helped me through it.

On the drive home from work today i turned off the radio and just talked with God the whole time. Talked to Him just as if he were sittin in the passenger seat i told Him how i was feeling and asked what He wanted me to do. Clear as day He spoke to my heart, just reminding me of all the promises he has given me, all the words that have been spoken over me, and the direct passion He has placed in my heart.

Its funny because everything just kind of clicked, it wasnt a dramatic revelation or anything, but everything just seemed to make sense again. God speaks to me a lil different than most, but Im pretty sure His words were "Chill Out! dang bro i give you what you want and then you freak out on me. I got your back, just relax already!LOL God speaks in a way i can understand ok...

So now...like right now right now...im good. God has reminded me of the great things already sealed in my life, and has me waiting in anticipation of when he says GO. Im so excited!!!

"All of Your promises wont let go of me"

10/40

Ok so ive been posting some poetry stuff for the past few days, so I thought i'd give that a break and just share what God is doin in my life.

So if you have been keepin up with my blog, you know that ive been prayin and seeking God in where I should go in this Ginormous world! So yesterday in my Berean class, we opened up talking about how God created man to naturally long for higher power. We talked about how there are people in this world that have NEVER heard the name of Jesus once but yet they search and try to find purpose and put the pieces together.

So i kinda got stuck on that thought for a while and then the 10/40 window came to mind. The 10/40 window is an area of land stretching from N. Africa all the way across to east China, (check the longitude and latitude for more accuracy) and the percentage of people who havent heard the name of christ in that area alone is like 94% Isnt that crazy!!!So i was thinking....wow what if i could devote my life to the people of that area, moving from city to city, nation to nation, raising up leaders and planting leaders in those countries to disciple others to do the same. The hunger for God is there in the 10/40, but the laborers to meet that need is few. The 10/40 is the most unevagelized area in the world, and contains billions of people.So why is it neglected? Because evagelism is restricted and prohibited in almost all of the 10/40. People dont want to take a risk, people dont want to be "uncomfortable." God said to go to ALL the nations, he didnt say go to the ones you feel most comfortable with. So im praying for this generation to rise up and take a risk, to live on the edge, to push the limit and continue to spread Gods word to the world.

So all this was goin on in my head for a good 20 mins during Berean last nite, and then today. I was lookin for some info on the 1040 and came across this website that showed some ministry going on in India (which is part of the 1040) and guess what.......there were missionaries showing the people who Jesus was, explaining salvation, teaching them how to pray, worshipingin the streets, and basically raising up Indian leaders, to lead their own people to live a life victoriously through christ!.

I have to admit that the tears were rollin as i was watchin the video, because that video was a perfect example of what i felt needed to be done, and what God wants me to do, ...Here these people are in a Muslim country openly worshiping out in the street lifting their hands, clapping, praying for healing, speaking in authority, and just plain rejoicing because of their new found hope through Jesus.

But how many more are still out there that havent heard, how many are longing for something more. I can only pray that God would make my path straight, and direct my every step in this whole situation.That he would give me his blessing if this is his will for my life, im so excited to see that God is beginning to reveal something greater than i could ever imagine. Keep me in yout prayers.

Timeless

Time has no meaning, age is nothing in His eyes
For when He called you, He saw your heart
And heard the beauty of its cry.

It was then He embraced you, and shared His heart with yours
He gave you a passion, a desire, a dream
He never questioned your ability, For He knew that through Him, you could do all things

Holding you close, He carried you from your past
Taking your first steps, you reached for His hand

Walking through the pain of being refined
It strengthened you, to run by His side
With every tear there was meaning
With every struggle there was purpose
With every mountain there was teaching
And every valley brought service

The Potter rejoices, at His creation
For He knows it is flawless, and will reach the nations

Molding and shaping, all passing through His hands
He knew the time, you would impact this land

So take heart, and take His word
Do all you can to stand, and stand firm

Have faith in every word He says
For words of Life, erase words of death

Put on your armor, set the captives free
Riding in victory along side your King.